The practice[ edit ] In strictly Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Both sides usually the singles themselves, parents, close relatives or friends of the persons involved make inquiries about the prospective partner, e. A shidduch often begins with a recommendation from family members, friends or others who see matchmaking as a mitzvah , or commandment. Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services. Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchan , but anyone who makes a shidduch is considered the shadchan for it. After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another. The number of dates prior to announcing an engagement may vary by community. In some, the dating continues several months.
The official shidduch resume
Every day is a fight for sanity, for clarity, and peace of mind. This is an uncensored account of my shidduch trials and tribulations —— the often emotional, sometimes poetic, confessions of a shidduch dater —— my colorful musings and reflections from behind the lines. He proposes that having two people share increasingly personal information with each other mirrors the manner in which two people develop emotional intimacy.
The study involves a heterosexual man and woman meeting for the first time in a lab. Six months later, the two participants got married. By forcing people to be open and emotionally vulnerable with each other, this encourages closeness.
After receiving a favorable report in regard to his questions, the man thanked R’ Shmuel for his time and got up to leave. At this point, R’ Shmuel, in his gentle and noble way, turned to the father and said, “You’ve asked me a number of questions.
Her advice column was syndicated through Tribune Media Services, and it currently appears in Singular magazine as Singular Solutions. She has been nominated for both an Emmy and Writers Guild award. Marnie invites you to join her on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. For counseling she can also be reached at Liveperson: The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.
I think the author of this article has some outdated ideas.
Introduction to Shidduchim Series – Rabbi Avraham Braun
Using extensive research and scientific study, she details the seven ways to ensure a better marriage, even as the years go on. There is a lot out there on happy marriages. But how do you get to those happy marriages? What do you look for when you are dating? For the past few years, I have been contributing to a shidduch forum for shadchanim, those in shidduchim, and parents of those in shidduchim. The questions that come up are important and varied — as shidduchim is an important and varied issue.
Home → Shidduchim: It’s Everyone’s Thing Practical Ways to Help Create Dating Opportunities Shlomo Goldberger March 28, Comment I am most appreciative of the very warm reception that I have been given from the community in my new position at The Shidduch Center of Baltimore.
Conversations in Klal Ever wish that you could say what you really feel about something going on in Klal? Here members of Klal can have the conversations they should be having but that aren’t happening elsewhere, except, perhaps, in whispered conversations in dark corners. Say what you mean here, and let us hope that some conversation now will lead to changes later, some changes that are long overdue in Klal.
Sunday, June 20, Those Shidduch Questionnaires On a different posting a commenter asked about what was on the shidduch questionnaires that are common today. Many of the groups that use a questionnaire do not post a copy of that questionnaire online; a few will make the questionnaire available online only once you have registered with the site. Most community shidduch groups don’t post copies of their questionnaires. Individual shadchanim don’t post a copy of the questionnaires they use.
However, there are some questionnaires available for viewing at the links below, which I am posting as a public service and for informational purposes. Thanks to Rena for giving this link in her comment–take the time and scroll the pages and pages of the questionnaire if you want to know why people are complaining about how “in depth” and frankly ridiculous these questionnaires are:
Along with the birth of a son comes many Jewish customs. A son is born — a son who will, with God’s help, be a source of pride and joy to his family and the entire Jewish people. Along with the birth of a son comes several customs, the greatest simcha being, of course, the Bris Milah. For a first-born son, there is also possibly a Pidyon Ha’Ben.
Nov 23, · Why I should be afraid of the shidduch crisis: First off, I’m That’s already old in the shidduch market, and I could potentially be 30 before I begin dating! 30 is the real crisis point, particularly for : You’re Not Crazy.
Good things take time, but great things happen all at once. Yes, I admit it is very hard to please me cinematically. And if you are wondering, yes, I do have a sense of humor. Maybe, by watching something with a good message, I will cancel the brain-numbing effects of staring into a hundred watt Light Bright. I have no scientific backing for this theory, but I like to believe there is some truth to it. It makes me feel a little better. However, viewing this sorry excuse of a comedy was not for naught, because in it, I found one of my favorite quotes of all time: There is nothing particularly eloquent or original about this quote, but once I heard it in the movie, it got me thinking…how true is it?
Of course good things take time. They put in much effort, thought, emotion and prayer. But when they met the right person, when they found and recognized their RD, it all came to together.
Questions for Researching Shidduch Prospects
A sociological study of frummies and my love of the outdoors Dont wear white shirts? I wore it for about two shabbosim, but then retired it into my trunk and once again resumed donning by blue shirt, khakis and brown sport coat for shabbos. As far as I can remember I rarely wore white shirts. Originally it was because white shirts were too easy to stain and get dirty and then it just evolved from there.
A few years back I bought my first suit since my bar mitzvah I decided it was time to ditch the sport coat and khakis shabbos look and grow up a little. I eventually came to acquire several suites because I had to dress up for work.
5 Most Important Shidduch Questions Home › Coffeeroom › Shidduchim › 5 Most Important Shidduch Questions This topic contains replies, has 46 voices, and was last updated by gavra_at_work.
Tweet on Twitter By Rabbi Yitschak Rudomin MA We live in a world driven by data and research but at this point since Shidduch [matchmaking] Resumes are relatively new inventions there is no hard proof whether they help or not. But where does that leave everyone else who is not as Choshuv [a important person] or wealthy and do Shidduch Resumes help or hurt the Hammon Am [Jewish masses]?
There is of course no research on this subject yet and I would welcome any and all feedback and responses as to whether people in the English-speaking American Yeshiva world feel that the now-universal use of Shidduch Resumes is helping or hindering the Shidduch[dating] process and if it does or does not contribute to the now well-known Shidduch Crisis.
Allow me to share from my own experiences. When our oldest son was considering dating plus minus less than a decade ago it was only girls who were required to have Shidduch Resumes. By the time our last son was dating in recent years both girls and boys needed to have a Shidduch Resume. As the common wisdom goes it is generally boys who are flooded with the resumes of girls it seems and from our experience we were at one point sitting with dozens of resumes approaching the hundred or two hundred mark.
Spending a few hours I took out a thick marker pen and put the letters of the alphabet on each actual resume and not on the cover letters on Emails that Shadchanim would often send. It was a very thick pile and it needed updating every few weeks to incorporate newer resumes. I happen to be good at organizing things but I asked myself what if someone is not that organized, or what if people cannot print out the resumes from the WORDs or PDFs or Emails they arrive in?
Shidduch Resumes and Bottlenecks
Every day is a fight for sanity, for clarity, and peace of mind. This is an uncensored account of my shidduch trials and tribulations —— the often emotional, sometimes poetic, confessions of a shidduch dater —— my colorful musings and reflections from behind the lines. Thursday, December 8, The Structure of a Shidduch Date Dates I preach “go with the flow,” “color outside the lines,” “break the ‘rules’,” “loosen up,” yada yada yada. And, I wholeheartedly believe it; there is no set way to do this, and none of this will be true across the board.
Jan 18, · Oorah’s founder, Rabbi Chaim Mintz, delivers a weekly Tuesday night class at Oorah’s “Torah Spot” in Staten Island. The class is streamed live at http://www.
Posted on July 14, by leahfleetwood This is a question that I have struggled with off and on over the past 2 and a half years: Should I be open with people in the Orthodox Jewish community about being a ger? Should I hide it? Should I pretend to be a baalat tshuva a born-Jew who was not raised religious, but who became religious later in life, usually as a teenager or young adult?
And what do I do when people ask me straight out, as they often have, if I grew up religious? For the most part, with a few exceptions, I have been open with most people about being a giyores female convert to Judaism. In my Saw You At Sinai SYAS profile, I state quite clearly that I am a giyores tzaddekes righteous female convert who converted for the sake of Judaism, not for the sake of marrying a Jewish man or some other alternative reason. For the most part, my openness has led to others being open about their status as converts or baalei tshuva.
Dont wear white shirts? No shidduch for you
Tuesday, November 23, Convert Confessions: Young women are turning 22 without finding a suitable husband! I’m not afraid of the big bad wolf known as the shidduch crisis. For the uninitiated, what’s a shidduch crisis?
Social Skills Training and ‘Shidduch Coaching’, can help turn social anxiety and painful rejections into an enjoyable dating experience.
Early years[ edit ] Some Spanish conversos , or secret Jews, settled in Argentina during the Spanish colonial period 16th—19th century , had assimilated into the Argentine population. A second wave of Jewish immigration from Europe began in the mid th century, during revolutions and extensive social disruption. In , the first Jewish wedding was recorded in Buenos Aires. Baron Maurice de Hirsch — In the late 19th century, Ashkenazi immigrants fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia and Eastern Europe settled in Argentina, attracted by its open-door immigration policy.
These Jews became known as rusos, “Russians”. In , group of Russian Jews arrived in Argentina on the S. Weser and became gauchos Argentine cowboys. They bought land and established a colony named Moises ville. In its heyday, the Association owned more than , hectares of land. Between and , some 13, Jews immigrated to Argentina every year, mostly from Europe, but also from Morocco and the Ottoman Empire.
By , more than , Jews were living in Argentina. He developed a plan to bring Jews to Argentina as autonomous agricultural settlers.
It’s a Boy!
Comment I am most appreciative of the very warm reception that I have been given from the community in my new position at The Shidduch Center of Baltimore. We were greatly pleased with the turnout at our educational event for parents last month, and the feedback that followed was nothing short of heartwarming. Based on the response we have received regarding our initiatives, it is clear that our community has the drive and desire to put forth the necessary effort to help our singles find shidduchim, and to be able to do so in a dignified, respectful way.
While I truly wish that I had a magical solution, and a match for every one of our singles, ready in my back pocket, I regretfully do not.
Ending the Call Researching a Prospective Shidduch An important part of the shidduchim process is researching shidduch prospects. Generally, the underlying assumption of the middleman is that their job is to provide a plausible name and a resume; it is the parents’ job to do the legwork to ascertain that this is a shidduch worth pursuing.
There are differing approaches about the goal of checking out a shidduch prospect. In one approach, the task is to learn everything possible about the prospect in order to ensure a “perfect” match. Questions posed during the research process are meant to ascertain: Families may put up a good front and give even their friends and neighbors a falsely positive view of their situation. Singles are able to live “double lives” more easily using the internet.
A shadchan may accidently mislead.